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There are certain times of the year, like Christmas, when we stop and take time to count our blessings. The Americans do it at Thanksgiving.
With all our blessings, however, is one day of thanks ever enough?
I would say not. In his book "Discovering the Laws of Life," the famed money manager and philanthropist John Templeton recommended a different approach. He called it thanksliving.
Thanksliving means practicing an attitude of perpetual gratitude.
That's not hard when times are good. But for many, it's tough out there right now. The economy is weak. The job market is soft. Credit is tight.
Combine these with the property slump and an attitude of continual thankfulness becomes a tall order.
Yet Templeton offers a radical solution. Don't just give thanks for your blessings. Be grateful for your problems, too.
This seems wildly counterintuitive at first. But facing up to our challenges makes us stronger, smarter, tougher, and more valuable as parents, friends, employees... and human beings.
I love sailing, but recognise that calm seas never produced a skilled sailor. Solving problems is what we're made for. It's what makes life worth living.
"Adversity, when overcome, strengthens us," says Templeton. "So we are giving thanks not for the problem itself but for the strength and knowledge that will come from it. Giving thanks for this growth ahead of time will help you to grow through - not just go through - your challenges."
Circumstances alone never decide our fate. We all have the ability to shape our destiny. And it begins with believing we can.
Worries, regrets, and complaints solve nothing. They change nothing. Rather they undermine your health, your social environment and your quality of life.
Difficult situations are rarely resolved with positive thoughts or gratitude alone, however. It takes another crucial ingredient: sustained action.
Even then, some problems are intractable. Others - like the death of a loved one - are insoluble. In certain circumstances, only an attitude of acceptance moves us forward.
Most of our day-to-day problems, however, are created by the person in the mirror.
We made them. And that means we can fix them.
According to Unitarian pastor Preston Bradley, "The world has a way of giving what is demanded of it. If you are frightened and look for failure and poverty, you will get them, no matter how hard you may try to succeed. Lack of faith in yourself, in what life will do for you, cuts you off from the good things in the world. Expect victory and make victory. Nowhere is this truer than in the business of life, where bravery and faith bring both material and spiritual rewards."
This lesson is best learned at an early age. Once when I was about seven years old, for instance, I was out on a bike ride with my Mum when we came to a steep hill. I threw down the bike and said "I can't get up this hill".
It was one of the few times I've ever seen my mum really angry. "What was that word you just used?" she demanded.
"Can't?" I asked, sheepish.
"I don't ever want to hear you use that word again."
Then she strode off ... leaving me to the realisation that I had to push the bike up the hill. I remember this incident so clearly even to this day.
Journalist Sam Levenson had a similar experience:
"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
I'm not suggesting that it's wrong to ask for help. Under certain circumstances, you won't succeed without it. We could all use a boost from time to time.
But it's much more satisfying - and dignifying - when we solve our problems ourselves.
In addition to showing us what we're made of, working through our setbacks makes us more sensitive to - and more compassionate toward - the problems of others.
Look around and you'll see plenty of good people with more troubles than you. This is the season to remember them, incidentally. (Although the true spirit of Thanksliving means remembering - and giving - all year round.)
Whatever problems you're grappling with - personal, social or financial - the best course is always to face them with all the courage, patience and equanimity you can muster.
And, if possible, be grateful. Opportunity often shows up disguised as hard work.
Whatever your problems, few of them can withstand the onslaught of optimism, persistence, and a genuine spirit of gratitude. So get moving.
As the poet Robert Frost reminds us, "The best way out is always through." |
